Aug 18th 2009 By Michael Rundle In more bad news for the living today, scientists have determined that humanity would almost certainly perish in the (probably still unlikely) event of a zombie outbreak.Using probability to demonstrate what us "Walking Dead" fans have known for years, a team in Canada has shown that a zombie-like infection -- one that quickly killed its victims and then returned them to life in order to feast on the living -- would spell almost certain doom for us all. Among the issues faced by humanity would be the exponential increase in new zombies created after each human dies, and the sudden shutdown of vital services and resources.The University of Ottawa researchers who worked on the study assumed that the zombies were the classic, slow-moving type seen in the original George A. Romero films, and not the heretical and far-more-deadly ultra-fast zombies as seen in films like "28 Days Later." Even so, their analysis revealed that any attempt to cure or capture the Shuffling Horde would only put off the inevitable. All the more reason to lay back and submit to hot zombie babes.
(So, scientific studies prove what we already knew all along. Now if we can only take this team of geniuses and get them started on the cure to cancer!)
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